Friday, October 9, 2009

Day 45: Tension

I'm a taut line. I have no more give. Or so I tell myself every day. Every day I give a little more. Even if I have nothing more to give. I give a little more.

My legs felt strong today. Arms, not so much. Shoulders were tired. Standing postures felt great but I suffered through the vinyasas. I couldn't do Supta K because I had a couple of moles removed from my neck yesterday. Maybe someday I'll have a practice free from injury.

But the injuries I struggle with lately aren't physical. I'm fighting psychological obstacles and mental fatigue. Sleep deprivation and the need to be constantly vigilent over the two precious lives that I am entirely responsible for is taking a toll. If I let my guard down for a second, my world could fall apart.

And that's the way my crazy mommy brain works.

I'm practicing ahimsa. Ahimsa towards my children. Ahimsa with my spouse. Ahimsa with myself. Trying to stop the internal violence. I still have lots of work but that's why they call it a practice. I'll be a better yogini tomorrow.

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