Since it's Saturday, my day of rest, I'll write about something else of great importance in my life: my hair.
Every few years I start thinking that I want bangs again. This time I blame the trailers for 500 Days of Summer. Of course I know that I don't look anything like Zooey Deschanel, but that doesn't stop me from coveting her hair.
Unfortunately, Tom hates bangs. Sure, it's my hair, but I do try to keep my man happy. He does the same for me. Isn't that the the kind of compromise that makes marriage work?
And he's right anyway. Bangs don't work well on my face - almost direct quote from my last stylist. That doesn't stop me from wanting them. There's a huge gap between how I imagine that I look and how I actually look. I caught a glimpse of my skin in full noon sunlight yesterday. Let's just say that the bathroom light is much more forgiving.
I waver between thinking that I look awful, borderline obese with bad skin, and thinking that I look, hrmmm, better than I actually look. I went to my dermatologist about some suspicious moles. In other words, I didn't say anything about my face. Without any complaint from me, he told me that my skin looked "pretty bad" and asked me how much longer I was going to be breastfeeding.
"I don't know, probably more than a year."
"Well, there's nothing going on here that's going to scar, but I won't be able to do much for you until you stop breastfeeding."
If you think that sounds bad, the dermatologist I went to when I was pregnant with Mia told me that I probably wouldn't want to breastfeed so that I could use some medicine that actually worked. I'm vain enough to care how my skin looks, but not so vain that I would compromise my baby's well being. I changed dermatologists after that visit.
What I struggle with lately is knowing how a thirty-something mom is supposed to look. I know I don't want to look like this
My current style idol is Nancy Botwin. Her character has two kids and she always looks smoking hot. Of course, the actress has a team of stylists and is drop dead gorgeous to boot. So, maybe I need to find a more realistic aspiration. But look how cute she looks with pig tails. I love them on her, but when I wear them I'm afraid people are going to think that I'm trying to look younger than I actually am. No, I'm just trying to look like Nancy Botwin.
Not helping my need to set realistic goals, I periodically read Cookie Magazine. It's the Harper's Bazaar of parenting magazines. It has artsy photo layouts with beautiful models, but again, not full of realistic goals.
Inspiration can be helpful when it doesn't lead to discouragement. I'm just looking for the right inspiration.